Load Of Bull

Archive for the ‘Tennis’ Category

‘I’ll tell him to go easy on you,’ said the young man’s Dad as we headed for the tennis courts in Gran Alacant.

‘Oh no’ I replied, ‘I don’t want him having any excuses come the end of the match, tell him to give it his best…’

‘As you wish,’ said Dad.

The young man in question is Ellis Ward, currently Yorkshire’s number one tennis player (under 15’s) and in the top ten in Great Britain. But, I have age and experience and, I have managed to keep myself fairly fit over the years, all going for me.  After weeks of banter and bragging (from us both) the match was set. Five o’clock in the afternoon – I planned on using the heat of the day to sap the energy of the young upstart – and we warmed up (you know what I mean), gently batting the ball back and forth. With Dad as umpire and Ellis to serve, I readied myself; picturing a forehand crosscourt smashing uppercut (or something like that). However, when the serve came, I heard the bounce and then the rattle as it hit the fence behind me. ’15 love!’ chirped in Dad trying to stop a fit of giggles. The rest of that game went much the same way – I guess really I should have just waited by the fence where the balls inevitably ended up anyway. My serve didn’t quite trouble him as much; compared to his, I’m afraid mine looked a bit like a woman when she throws a ball…with her left hand.

Needless to say Ellis escaped with a narrow victory (6-0) but I did manage to take two points off of him…ok, one was a double fault on his serve but the other one…well, what a point that was but it’ll have to wait for another day.

Keep an eye out for young Ellis in and around Gran Alacant where his parents have a property and keep an eye on Wimbledon over the next few years, you never know – you can always tell people that you know a guy who took two points off of the first British Wimbledon winner for 300 years…

I am off the oxygen now and the doctor says I still have a good chance of regaining some intelligence…